it's gonna be may
thank god fr fr
i received the following image in a text message from my best friend from high school this morning.
justin timberlake jumpscare aside, i was grateful to be reminded that this month is almost over! i cannot really explain what has been going on this month, other than "hectic." i can't really complain much specifically without sounding and feeling ungrateful, so i will leave it at a bristling about having very little time for myself over the past handful of weeks.
it's good to have something that you're known for. my aforementioned hs bff proclaimed this to be her "longest running bit" to which i could only compliment her on enduring so long. it's something to be proud of! it's cool to have something that you are known for and that is recognized by your peers as 'your schtick.' aside from that she's got a long history with a beloved video game franchise or three, some oc's and artistry, and a few other things that are "her things." sometimes i have to just, idk... wonder what mine are, i suppose.
the only thing i can say that i've really been consistently interested in over my life is finding new and boring ways to waste my own time. has it been a life well wasted? i don't really know, and will probably only figure it out in retrospect. historically i have jumped from hobby to hobby and obsession to obsession on a tri-weekly basis, without much ability to stick with any one thing, finding laziness or another excuse not to.
my current self-diagnosis is that i seem to have a severe dopamine addiction that i've been unable to kick and keep finding new ways to get my fix any time i try. i uninstalled bluesky and reddit and google now, but now i've started scrolling facebook more. when i don't do that i open one of three dozen games i've got installed, in a desperate attempt to distract myself from the daily tasking i perform at work. work is tiring me out so i'm tending to veg more at home. i just... what do i do with myself?
all of those thoughts and more have been circling my head for one reason or another this month. maybe may is when i finally get my shit in together. bless my wife for her infinite patience with me.
baby update: those kids are learning to WALK. a few weeks past 1 year old and we are so so mobile. my wife described it as "exploring elevated surfaces," which, lmao. very apt. i will not be posting pictures of my children on this website but please imagine a toddler with chunky cheeks and a cheesey toothy grin so proud of themself for knocking over a zany zoo activity cube and clambering on top of it in a critter pose. gosh i love these little ones.